{"id":5187,"date":"2020-05-16T01:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-05-16T05:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/?p=5187"},"modified":"2020-05-15T10:46:04","modified_gmt":"2020-05-15T14:46:04","slug":"to-my-son-on-his-wedding-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/to-my-son-on-his-wedding-day\/","title":{"rendered":"To My Son on His Wedding Day"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n<iframe title=\"To My Son on His Wedding Day 5\/16\/20\" height=\"122\" width=\"100%\" style=\"border: none;\" scrolling=\"no\" data-name=\"pb-iframe-player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.podbean.com\/media\/player\/x7pja-dc8c4e?from=yiiadmin&#038;download=1&#038;version=1&#038;skin=1&#038;btn-skin=107&#038;auto=0&#038;share=1&#038;fonts=Helvetica&#038;download=1&#038;rtl=0&#038;pbad=1\"><\/iframe>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Dear Alex,&nbsp;<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>The day is finally here. You\u2019re getting married. To a lovely young woman, too. Another milestone in your life. You learned how to walk and talk and use the potty and swim, gave up diapers and bottles and pacifiers, graduated from high school and college, went to prom and got your driver\u2019s license, passed your boards, became a second degree black belt, learned Krav Maga and so much more\u2026 But this milestone is huge. This is being an adult, big-time.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>I\u2019ll spare you the \u201cit seems like only yesterday\u201d that I remember so and so or such and such. Well \u2013 maybe just one \u2013 it seems like yesterday that I held you in the hospital, the baby against the odds\u2026my Alex. Here we are, 29 (lightning) years later.<\/em><\/strong><strong><em><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Now you\u2019re to be someone else\u2019s Alex besides mine. I\u2019d like to impart age-old wisdom about marriage, but if I had all the answers, your Dad and I wouldn\u2019t have gotten divorced. But that had nothing to do with you, only to do with us. None of us gets married expecting to part, and neither should you.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>But I have learned some things along the way \u2013 important things; vitally important things. Like the need for trust, respect, honesty, equality and communication in a relationship. To trust the other person with yourself. To respect the dignity of another human being at all costs. To seek the truth and be honest, always. To recognize your spouse as different, but equal. Above all, to keep the communication<\/em><\/strong><strong><em>&nbsp;<\/em><\/strong><strong><em>channels open, even when you don\u2019t feel like it.<\/em><\/strong><strong><em><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>If  you remember these things, almost any differences \u2013 and there will be plenty of those \u2013 can be resolved in a mutually beneficial way. Marriage is not easy. Sometimes it\u2019s a challenge to remember those vows, even on a day-to-day basis. But it\u2019s worth it. Human beings were made for companionship, to work in partnership, to experience love.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>And remember that you can love someone but not always like them. Go easy on yourself; you\u2019re only human. And so is your wife. No one is perfect, and no one has all the answers. Everyone has good days and not-so-good days. But when the two of you work together, you\u2019ll get through just about anything that life puts in front of you.<\/em><\/strong><strong><em><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Remember, too, not to lose yourself in another person. There\u2019s that wonderful part of the two of you that no one else can touch, but it\u2019s so important to allow each other your own identities as well. You\u2019ll be Marissa\u2019s husband, Theresa\u2019s son, Ed\u2019s partner, Poppy and Mimi\u2019s grandson, Aunt Pat\u2019s nephew and godson\u2026but you\u2019ll also always be simply Alex, with your own interests apart from those as a couple. The Alex who never loses himself, yet becomes better because of his partner in life. That\u2019s so important.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>There are some rules in fair fighting, and one of the biggest is to let the past rest in the past. Once you have resolved something, don\u2019t keep bringing it up to re-hash it. That\u2019s not fair. Once it\u2019s done, it\u2019s done. End of story. While we\u2019re on rules for fair fighting, here are some more suggestions: no name calling; don\u2019t let the sun go down on your anger; no physical fighting or hitting \u2013 ever; no mind-reading; what you say at home stays at home.<\/em><\/strong><strong><em><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Remember, too: don\u2019t keep score; marriage is not a competition. It\u2019s a partnership of equals. And don\u2019t be afraid to ask for your own space\u2026everyone needs to breathe, some times more than others. Also remember that your happiness is not your spouse\u2019s responsibility \u2013 you are responsible for your own happiness. As for drama \u2013 well, keep that to a minimum. And don\u2019t let friends or in-laws interfere \u2013 period.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>I wish you happiness and joy, contentment and peace. But most of all, I wish you love. Always love\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Mom<\/em><\/strong><em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>____________________________________________________<\/em><\/strong><em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>The Wedding Song<\/em><\/strong><em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts<\/em><\/strong><em><br><\/em><strong><em>Rest assured this troubadour is acting on His part.<\/em><\/strong><em><br><\/em><strong><em>The union of your spirits, here, has caused Him to remain<\/em><\/strong><em><br><\/em><strong><em>For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name<\/em><\/strong><em><br><\/em><strong><em>There is love, there is love.<\/em><\/strong><em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>A man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home<\/em><\/strong><em><br><\/em><strong><em>And they shall travel on to where the two shall be as one.<\/em><\/strong><em><br><\/em><strong><em>As it was in the beginning is now and \u2018til the end<\/em><\/strong><em><br><\/em><strong><em>Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again.<\/em><\/strong><em><br><\/em><strong><em>And there is love, there is love.<\/em><\/strong><em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Well then what\u2019s to be the reason for becoming man and wife?<\/em><\/strong><em><br><\/em><strong><em>Is it love that brings you here or love that brings you life?<\/em><\/strong><em><br><\/em><strong><em>And if loving is the answer, then who\u2019s the giving for?<\/em><\/strong><em><br><\/em><strong><em>Do you believe in something that you\u2019ve never seen before?<\/em><\/strong><em><br><\/em><strong><em>Oh there\u2019s love, there is love.<\/em><\/strong><em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Oh the marriage of your spirits here has caused Him to remain<\/em><\/strong><em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name<\/em><\/strong><em><br><\/em><strong><em>There is love, there is love.<\/em><\/strong><em><br><\/em><strong><em>____________________________________________<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>PLEASE LISTEN TO THE PODCAST!!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Please think of one or two people with whom you can share today\u2019s Daily Treat. Go ahead, share it with them!!<\/strong> <strong>You have my permission!!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Alex,&nbsp; The day is finally here. You\u2019re getting married. To a lovely young woman, too. Another milestone in your life. You learned how to walk and talk and use the potty and swim, gave up diapers and bottles and pacifiers, graduated from high school and college, went to prom and got your driver\u2019s license, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5188,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"qubely_global_settings":"true","qubely_interactions":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"qubely_featured_image_url":{"full":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie.png",281,187,false],"landscape":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie.png",281,187,false],"portraits":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie.png",281,187,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie-150x150.png",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie.png",281,187,false],"medium_large":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie.png",281,187,false],"large":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie.png",281,187,false],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie.png",281,187,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie.png",281,187,false],"ocean-thumb-m":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie.png",281,187,false],"ocean-thumb-ml":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie.png",281,187,false],"ocean-thumb-l":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie.png",281,187,false],"qubely_landscape":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie.png",281,187,false],"qubely_portrait":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie.png",281,187,false],"qubely_thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie-140x100.png",140,100,true],"rpwe-thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Mom-tying-Bow-tie-45x45.png",45,45,true]},"qubely_author":{"display_name":"Medard Laz","author_link":"https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/author\/medlaz\/"},"qubely_comment":0,"qubely_category":"<a href=\"https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/category\/daily-treats\/\" rel=\"category tag\">Daily Treats<\/a>","qubely_excerpt":"Dear Alex,&nbsp; The day is finally here. You\u2019re getting married. To a lovely young woman, too. Another milestone in your life. You learned how to walk and talk and use the potty and swim, gave up diapers and bottles and pacifiers, graduated from high school and college, went to prom and got your driver\u2019s license,&hellip;","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5187"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5187"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5187\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5188"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5187"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5187"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.treatsforthesoul.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5187"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}