God's Voice Mail more more more more

In our world today, we all have had to learn to live with “Call Options”. No matter if you call a business, a hospital or another organization, you don’t get to speak to a human being anymore.

The other day I was waiting on the phone for what seemed to be “an eternity”. I began to wonder what would happen if God decided to install Voice Mail or Call Options.

Imagine praying or hearing this: “Press #1 for Requests. Press #2 for Giving Thanks. Press #3 for Complaints. Press #4 for All Other Personal Inquires. Press #5 for Information on the Whereabouts of Deceased Family Members or Friends. Press #6 for Your Future Reservation in Heaven.

“Heaven is closed for the Jewish, Christian and Muslim holidays. Please pray again on Monday morning at 8:30 AM. If you need Emergency Assistance when this office is closed, please contact your local priest, minister, rabbi or imam.”

And then while waiting, we would hear a never-ending loop of King David singing one of his psalms or Mary singing the Magnificat.

Every minute a familiar voice would cut back in: “I’m sorry, but heaven is busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us. It will be answered in the order it was received. So please stay on the line.”

After fifteen minutes, the voice would say, “Our computers show that you have already prayed three times today. So please hang up and try again tomorrow